Sarrie. Sarrier. Sarriest!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

why do so many people cut themselves? because they need the physical pain to make them forget all those conflicting emotions, the most common being emotional pain. because, unlike other conventional methods [think counselling, etc], this is guaranteed to work. because this way they can keep what their problems private. more or less.

just imagine. your emotions are so volatile, you're hurting but no one understands you. the emotional pain you feel increases till you can bear it no more. you start searching for a pair of scissors, a razor blade, a knife, whatever, as long as it's sharp. the triumph you feel when you finally find a blade. the skin which holds almost no resistance as you dig in the blade. the sharp, sudden pain that make you catch your breath. the dark red droplets of blood come welling out, then dripping down. the stinging of the wound and the physical pain which overwhelms your emotional pain and gives you welcomed respite. but it's only temporary. as the minutes pass the physical pain fades to a dull painful throb, and the emotional pain comes rushing back. disgruntled, you make another cut. and another. and another, until you feel lightheaded from the lost of blood. but you don't stop, because you can't stand for the emotional pain to return. you start seeing black spots which dance across your vision. you feel short of breath. the world starts spinning. then finally, finally, at long last all grows dark. oh the blessed, dreamless rest that unconciousness brings.

11:03 AM; sarrie~